mochachocolatta

Kissing Dating Goodbye Part 1

Wednesday, September 10, 2008 7:00 pm

Just when I'm getting comfy with the idea of being single, I'm suddenly surrounded with hype about getting attached between the ideal ages of 21-25.

From what I can gather of fuzzy half-conversations, the reasons cover a multitude of implications concerning childbearing, the cannot-help-it-unwillingness-to-change-that-is-characteristic-of-old-age (read: stubbornness), the time period needed for 2 people to bond and grow together through hardships while young and... and... for the life of me, I just can't remember the rest of week-old chatters which I had listened to nonchalantly while the rest of my single peers wring their bare hands trying not to worry.

My mum can only look on in something toeing the lines of exasperation as she laments about how her mind won’t be at ease until she 把阿琪嫁出去 so I wont be her dai ji anymore. Thanks Mummy. Still, it tugs at me that she’s voicing this now. Whatever happened to “in this day and age, women don’t need to rely on men” she preached 5yrs ago. Maybe I haven prove that I can be independent. Maybe I’m not. And knowing her, no matter how independent and secure I am in future, she’ll still worry.

Anyway, so much for planning to deck my bachelorette pad with shades of off-whites / light greys / warm browns, soft lighting, dark brown furniture, floaty fabrics, vintage pieces, keepsakes from my travels, wood flooring, a hugeass mirror for dance, a swing like the one from my childhood, a photo gallery wall and pieces of art lovingly put up and handpainted by my adopted child.

If my dogearred copy of Ikea catalog can flap its wilted pages like tongues, it'll tell you that I have been giving this a lot of thought. Perhaps waaay too much thought, considering the house isn’t an asset (surprise surprise, I do remember this from Rich Dad, Poor Dad after all) Ok so I'm joking about the adopted child part, extrapolated from a conversation with a friend who suggested we go-for-IVF-if-neither-of-us-are-attached-by-the-age-of-35-but-are-dying-to-have-kids-bwahahaha. Anticlimax: "But I want beautiful kids." *looks up and down at friend*

Deco aside, I want a space called my own so that I can live life out like this:

If I can do housework while dancing like that, my abs would have shown and my room spick and span by now.

Omgosh, did I mention it’s my dream to travel? Maybe I can try joining an MNC next year and see if there’s a position that requires me to jetset around the world, designing something out of nothing from inspiration on my Mac, anywhere and everywhere. Next question would be to ask God how does this really serve Him and if this is according to His plan for me.

So yea, in short I was content. No men, no dates, no mess - perfect.

“Ironically, for many singles even the most casual of dating relationships is more obligation than they care to shoulder. They’re kissing dating goodbye” but for all the wrong reasons. Instead of not dating because they’re waiting to pursue a committed relationship, they’re not dating because dating itself is too much commitment.” ~ Josh Harris

Correction, I'm not dating because I'm waiting to pursue a committed relationship (which will only happen once I identified what I want) AND because dating itself is too messy. Let's just be friends first. *shoulder punches random guy friend*

Ok before I go on further, I shall finish up this book first. I feel I have yet to reach the punchline that'll speak to me.

Adios. Later gator!

kissing dating goodbye part 2

Wednesday, December 03, 2008 4:27 pm

Since I'm relatively free now, me thinks it would be a great idea to grab a few longtimenosee friends frm Facebook & catch up. Ok so I ended up cooking chili tuna linguine for dinner (surprisingly edible considering how it's just whacking ingredients without giving a thought about proportions, balance of flavours and "what recipe?!?" Hahaha maybe when you pray for creativity in the workplace, God gives you creativity in the kitchen too!

Browse browse browse click click click... without consciously counting, there're about ten 25-yr-old friends who:
1) got engaged/married
2) got pregnant
3) threw a full-month celebration for their baby
in 2008.

Then came the dwelling (yet again), that my generation has really moved on from Phase "Yea we're single adults woot woot!" to Phase "I will love you, til death do us part" to Phase "We are honored to share with you the joy of our son/daughther's birth."

Which brings me back to the amusing (well, at least to me) conversation Mum and I had a re-enactment (if u're lost, please see this.) of a couple of weeks back. Ended that by gently asking her if she'd rather I'm stuck with a man who's not mature enough to handle the unforeseen problems marriage will bring or I'm happy, whether single or not.

Okokok, I don't mean to get started on how seemingly (I bolded it k!) hopeless Singaporean men are but recent encounters with one particular specimen of the opposite gender has rendered me absolutely baffled as to what happened to the men of my generation. To summarise, he has proven himself to be petty (retracted, I repeat, retracted his offer of help to female friends in need), ungentlemanly and does something only if he gets something in return. Which is my personal and ultimate pet peeve - selfishness. Sigh. Then again, I shouldnt be so harsh since one takes a while to learn that the only way to win someone to oneself is to give.

Anyway, I'm gonna kick my stiletto-heeled feet back and let God do His magic in the love department. I have faith that it'll happen cos He had fulfilled my heart's desire a couple of times before and He has never let me down. And He'll not let me down this time either. Just wait and see.

Which is perfect since I don't have time for love right now anyway. Put Mr Right in front of me i cfm bak chew tak stamp. Focus on the other gazillion things to do heh :p Another time.

For the sake of ending on a light note, here's a quiz I found from Jo's blog:

Tadah!!! Boh liao, I know :p