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of a dreamer
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the necessities
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::His Word::
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and the quirky
what can i say, i get disinterested easily
::Seth Godin::
::SP Characters::

salt of the earth
they light up my life
~AliciaTeng~ ~Althea~ ::Baokun:: ::DanielA:: ~Dhanuj~ ~DianaHoHoHo~ ~FaithLiru~ ::GuanJie:: ~Hazel~ ::Hutdugaikarsui:: ~IsabelleAhli~ ::Jason:: ::Jia Bin:: ~Jiaying~ ~JieMeiz~ ~Mavis~ ~Mei~ ::Melvin:: ::Nigel:: ~PeiZhen~ ~Serene~ ~ShuJuan~ ::TengHong:: ~XiaXue~ ~Xinying~ ~Yifeng~ ~Yuhan~ ~Yuxin~ ::ZhengHao::
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Kid Photography
Tuesday, September 13, 2011 11:41 am
Pssst don't tell the bf, but reading this blog makes me wanna have kids.


And these pics makes me wanna get a digicam + photography lessons so I can shoot them. Literally. If they don't listen to Mummy. Wahahaha!
ESTJ - The Guardian
Friday, December 17, 2010 1:24 pm
ESTJ Profile


The Guardian

As an ESTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.

ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.

The ESTJ is usually a model citizen, and pillar of the community. He or she takes their commitments seriously, and follows their own standards of "good citizenship" to the letter. ESTJ enjoys interacting with people, and likes to have fun. ESTJs can be very boisterous and fun at social events, especially activities which are focused on the family, community, or work.

The ESTJ needs to watch out for the tendency to be too rigid, and to become overly detail-oriented. Since they put a lot of weight in their own beliefs, it's important that they remember to value other people's input and opinions. If they neglect their Feeling side, they may have a problem with fulfilling other's needs for intimacy, and may unknowingly hurt people's feelings by applying logic and reason to situations which demand more emotional sensitivity.

When bogged down by stress, an ESTJ often feels isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. Although normally the ESTJ is very verbal and doesn't have any problem expressing themself, when under stress they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others.

ESTJs value security and social order above all else, and feel obligated to do all that they can to enhance and promote these goals. They will mow the lawn, vote, join the PTA, attend home owners association meetings, and generally do anything that they can to promote personal and social security.

The ESTJ puts forth a lot of effort in almost everything that they do. They will do everything that they think should be done in their job, marriage, and community with a good amount of energy. He or she is conscientious, practical, realistic, and dependable. While the ESTJ will dutifully do everything that is important to work towards a particular cause or goal, they might not naturally see or value the importance of goals which are outside of their practical scope. However, if the ESTJ is able to see the relevance of such goals to practical concerns, you can bet that they'll put every effort into understanding them and incorporating them into their quest for clarity and security.

ESTJ Relationships

ESTJs are very enthusiastic people who are driven to fulfill their obligations and duties, especially those towards their families. Their priorities generally put God first, family second, and friends third. They put forth a tremendous amount of effort to meet their obligations and duties, according to their priorities. They are dedicated and committed to their relationships, which they consider to be lifelong and unalterable. They like to be in charge, and may be very controlling of their mates and children. They have high esteem for traditions and institutions, and expect that their mates and children will support these as well. They have little patience and need for dealing with people who see things very differently from the ESTJ.

ESTJ Strengths

Generally enthusiastic, upbeat and friendly
Stable and dependable, they can be counted on to promote security for their families
Put forth a lot of effort to fulfill their duties and obligations
Responsible about taking care of day-to-day practical concerns around the house
Usually good (albeit conservative) with money
Not personally threatened by conflict or criticism
Interested in resolving conflict, rather than ignoring it
Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
Able to move on after a relationship breaks up
Able to administer discipline when necessary

ESTJ Weaknesses

Tendency to believe that they are always right
Tendency to need to always be in charge
Impatient with inefficiency and sloppiness
Not naturally in tune with what others are feeling
Not naturally good at expressing their feelings and emotions
May inadvertantly hurt others with insensitive language
Tendency to be materialistic and status-conscious
Generally uncomfortable with change, and moving into new territories

ESTJs as Lovers

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

When an ESTJ says "I do", you can bet that they will put forth a tremendous amount of effort and energy into fulfilling their commitment to the relationship. They seek stability and security in their lives, and once they have made a commitment, it is lifelong and unalterable. They bring with them into the relationship a strong and dependable nature, which is oriented in traditions and security. They are highly energetic people, who never seem to lose their energy when performing duties and fulfilling obligations.

ESTJs usually feel very strongly that they are right and that if everyone else would listen carefully to what the ESTJ has to say, then they would understand the way things really are, and the world would be a better place. Such a strong, confident self-image is an asset in many ways, but can also be a detriment in close interpersonal relationships, if the ESTJ's mate does not feel valued for their contributions as an individual. This is a potential pitfall for ESTJs, who should try to be aware of the fact that other people have things to offer, even if they do not exactly follow the ESTJ's way of thinking. If it's not possible to do this on a larger scale, the ESTJ should perhaps focus on this area with respect to their partner's contributions.

Sexually, the ESTJ is likely to be robust, enthusiastic, and athletic. They will tend to be traditional, and to expect sexual encounters on a relatively scheduled basis. They're likely to approach intimacy as a physical experience of closeness, rather than as an opportunity to express and receive expressions of love and affection. The ESTJ will probably have to work on remembering to express their feelings verbally, but their mate's appreciation will make it well worth it for those who do.

In many ways, ESTJs are Guardians and Protectors by nature. They enjoy shielding and protecting their families, and are usually quite good at it. Their partners will appreciate and enjoy the benefits of the ESTJ's efforts in this respect, but they may also resent the more controlling aspects of the ESTJ's personality, which goes along with their strong desire to shield their loved-ones. The ESTJ may consider it their duty to instruct their spouses how to behave or what attitude to take in certain situations, which may not be appreciated.

Conversely, the ESTJ freely gives approval and affirmation when they are happy or impressed with their mate's behavior. Whether positive or negative, the ESTJ's expression can be taken at face value, because these individuals are very honest and forthright about how the feel.

ESTJs enjoy spending time with others socializing, and are likely to strongly desire that their partners also take part in these social activities. They are especially interested in any event which is associated with the family, work, or any organization which the ESTJ is part of. Since they are social creatures, they're likely to bring an emphasis on socializing to the relationship - but only after all of their work is done.

ESTJs are not naturally in tune with what others are feeling, and they may even tend to be very unobservant in these respects. This can cause problems with mates who have a Feeling preference, who may feel hurt or neglected by the ESTJ. If these feelings are pointed out to the ESTJ as an important dynamic of the relationship, rather than harbored internally by the Feeler, the ESTJ is likely to attempt to be more aware of their mate's feelings and emotions.

The ESTJ gladly performs their duties in life, and wants to be appreciated for doing so. This is the greatest gift that their mates can give them - gratitude.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ESTJ's natural partner is the ISTP, or the INTP. ESTJ's dominant function of Extraverted Thinking is best matched with someone whose dominant function is Introverted Thinking. The ESTJ/ISTP combination is deal because it also shared the Sensing way of perceiving the world, but the ESTJ/INTP combination is also quite good. How did we arrive at this?

ESTJs as Parents

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

ESTJs take their parenting responsibilities seriously, and enjoy the roles and duties which they are consequently presented with. The ESTJ sees parenthood as a natural state, and welcomes the opportunity to fulfill their basic obligation to pass on their genes, and to raise children to be responsible, independent adults.

ESTJs usually expect that parents should be parents, and children should be children. There is likely to be that parent-child barrier between the ESTJ and their kids, and they are likely to expect that their children will treat them with respect and honor. They will have no patience for extreme deviation from this basic rule.

ESTJs also do not have much tolerance for inefficiency or messiness. They dislike to see mistakes repeated. Consequently, ESTJ parents may have a difficult time with their children who have Intuitive or Perceiving preferences. They are extremely practical, and have no understanding or value for the creative imaginations of highly Intuitive children. They will also have little patience with the unstructured, "go with the flow" attitude of their Perceiving children. This impatience with other types is a potential downfall for the ESTJ which may manifest itself in an ugly way if the rift occurs with their own children. The ESTJ should remember that what is right for them is not necessarily right for their children.

Whatever difficulties an ESTJ may experience with their child, they will always accept that child back as their own. They are strongly driven to fulfill their duties, and see parenting as one of these "must do" obligations.

Children of the ESTJ will usually remember them as dependable, reliable, strict, traditional, and always willing to sacrifice themself for the sake of their children.

ESTJs as Friends

Although ESTJs typically put their family above their friends, they do enjoy and value their friendships. They enjoy having fun and spending time with others, especially those who share their interests and pursuits. They are likely to choose to spend free time with friends pursuing some activity or hobby - probably athletic or sports-oriented. They're likely to socialize quite a bit with their own family members, and with people who belong to the same organization or institution as the ESTJ.

ESTJs are usually status-conscious, and will respect others who they feel have acheived a high degree of success in our society. Although ESTJs have very high standards for behavior, and believe that they know what is appropriate and best in any given situation, they're likely to be less controlling with those who they feel are powerful individuals.

ESTJs will have little patience with people who seem frivolous or extremely untraditional. Conversely, those who live entirely in the current moment (Sensing Perceivers) may not appreciate the ESTJ's strong judgments, which may seem overly traditional to them. ESTJs are likely to bond best with other ESTJ, or with people of any type, if they share a common interest or goal.

ESTJs tend to be enthusiastic, sharp, and witty. They like to hear good jokes, and enjoy telling them as well. They're valued by their friends for being dependable and upbeat, and easily engaged in various pursuits.

The ESTJ is generally very opinionated, and likes to appear authoritative and in charge. They may temper this tendency when around other ESTJs whom they value. Around other types, this tendency may cause them to be abrupt and direct, to the point where they inadvertantly step on people's toes.

What do you think?
Lovin' the doodles.
Thursday, May 20, 2010 1:18 pm
Sunday, March 21, 2010 10:47 am
So far, only the career and artistic bit.

If I'm working to make some decent moolah, I might as well have fun doing it.

Own a design/branding/marketing team of 5
Earn at least $5K a month
Win a design award (or two)
Freelance as a makeup artist

From now on, every offering envelope will be stamped with the list above.

Own convertible space - dancestudio/designstudio/makeupstudio/cafe/bar/
Convert design business into a social enterprise

That should be enough for now. Now on to my website design. WOOT WOOT!
Malaise de L'Orange
Monday, January 25, 2010 5:35 pm

i was researching on fruit illustrations and came upon this.

no, i'm not recreating this for the kids. sheesh!

The Dreaded 11
Friday, January 22, 2010 8:53 pm
I have a NY Resolution that I don't even think is a resolution, more like an unfulfilled wish that I need fulfilled... and soon, before I go crazy.

Crazy from reciting the Dreaded 11 everytime mention of any of the exes come up:

1) Even if my bf has more girls than guys as his best friends, it doesn't mean he loves them the way he loves me. We all have our different criterias of choosing best friends. This makes us different, not right or wrong.

2) Just because my bf considers 2 of his ex-gfs as his best friends, it doesn't mean he still has lingering feelings for them. Nor them for him, act-cute kitty-meowing action or not.

3) Even if 2 of his best friends (and of course they're girls) dislike me, it doesn't mean I should love them less (note to self, pray for God's grace & love)

4) Just because he captioned (note to self, it's in past tense) that his ex was (past tense again) pretty/fetching/hotteacher-ish/sexkitten-ish on facebook pics he uploaded, it doesn't mean he finds her desirable. He was trying to cheer up a best fren who's dealing with self-esteem issues and that was probably the only words that came to mind. Besides, he's a forgetful man, upload for the moment and forget they are even there.

5) Even if there's a pic of the other ex and him interlocking arms feeding icecream on facebook that he uploaded, it doesn't mean anything now. See endnote of Point 4.

6) Just because he did not upload any lovey dovey pic of us on facebook (therefore no lovey dovey captions), it doesn't mean he is ashamed of our relationship or he can't be bothered to upload them. He has other better things to do now, more important than telling the world how much he loves me now. Like earning and saving more money. Period.

7) Even if he still keeps those photos with those comments, it doesn't mean he keeps them for sentimental value. Repeat endnote of Point 4.

8) Just because he chose to favour the said ex in Point 5 over me that one time on 7th December, it doesn't mean I'm less important than her. He's too used to being responsible of taking care of her needs and he thought I can handle myself.

9) Even if No.8 happened before, it doesn't mean it'll happen again. And even if it did happen, well.... it better not.

10) Just because I'm having these insecurities for over 4 months, it doesn't mean I should withdraw from this relationship.

11) Just because they are best friends now, it doesn't mean they'll be best friends after we're married. (Not convincing since I'll never know, will I?)

Going into our 4th month, I'm f***ing hating the fact that I have to repeat the whole bloody list mentally. The routine involves taking deep breaths and reciting the dreaded list, point after point, literally forcing myself to believe what I'm saying. It's painful heartwrenching effort, considering Words of Affirmation is my lowest and all it takes is one negative Act of Service to undo whatever good the Words of Affirmation do.

It definitely doesn't help that the positive Acts of Service have yet to directly counter the insecurities the negative AoS has unleashed, as this blog entry has attested. See Point No. 6. I'm not bothering to hint anymore. So, no, deleting and restarting a new facebook account is NOT a positve AoS.

And no, it definitely doesn't help how my bf took it upon himself to love the people who chose to stick around him when others had abandoned him. I admire his ability to forgive and still smile in the face of adversity. There is an abundance of joy in him that's addictive and one cannot help but feel that it's God's grace doing its magic. You cannot not smile when you see him. So, how can I not give in to his reasons? What kind of bitch will that make me?

Is this what the devil will use to wear down a relationship?

Is it unreasonable of me to ask him to not be best friends with those girls? Didn't my pastor say that the man can only have his wife as his best friend? Is this what he calls affair-proofing a relationship? I don't know what to think anymore, only that I do not want this misery in a marriage. I know it's only been 4 months, but for the past 5 months, it's been constantly driving me to the edge of misery everytime a mention of her comes up.

That her being his best friend, shows that she's still important to him.

I'm sad that we have this issue, an issue that none of my friends are experiencing. Why can't I also have a bf who don't keep contact with his exes? Now he don't just keep contact, but he calls her his best friend. Next thing I know, she'll catch him unaware in an emo i'm-single-&-lonely moment and sucker-punch us all with a "i'm sorry it just happened". And who's fault will that be?

I'm ashamed to say that after blogging about this, I am feeling better. Only the tiniest bit since things are not addressed but... at least it's better than nothing.

Update: Swinging by to update that all's fine and dandy on the love lane and we're pretty smoochingly happy. We reasoned in the end that one of the said ex will fade into oblivion and clearer lines of boundaries will be established over time with the other. So I wont retract the blog entry; it was not written with the intention to exaggerate my emotions and having it around just goes to remind me to trust and have faith in my man, regardless of the situations and people involved.
MAC Makeup: Pink Lilies Inspired
Monday, January 18, 2010 9:11 am

Should I try this for CNY.... hmmm....

Tsubasa Inspired Japanese Eye makeup
Sunday, January 17, 2010 11:44 am

now we can all look jappish.... or is it japish? hmm...

Brown Smokey with 88 Palette
1:27 am
Usually when I watch makeup tutorials, I'll stop watching if the girl is not pretty. Very bad right? But wait, there's a reason to it. If the "after" picture is worse than the "before" picture, then makeup FAIL right! Might as well go au natural and skip the war paint.

Anyway, to digress, I shall try this one night:

To a place, well, not that far away
Friday, January 15, 2010 11:12 am
One of the best trips I've ever invested in is the one to Sydney Salsa Congress 2009.

Aside from the congress and international friends I made there, it encapsulates all the dream-come-true fantasies I ever had about the place. Barefooted strolls along the shores of Bondi Beach, shrieking from the mindnumbingly cold waves, the nightly salsa marathons in the biggest hall I've ever seen.

Sigh... there I go again with the wistful longing. Withdrawal symptons from that heady shot of traveller's bug. Oh, bite me already.

I can only attribute this to hearing languish tale after languish tale from the bf's bestie about her virgin trip to HCMC. I know I gotta go there.

I can already envision my dark purple shiftdress, tiffany-blue *coughs - I wonder if the bf is reading this bwahahaha!* day dress and 4 vintage inspired tops being put together lovingly by one of the many local seamstresses, ala Project Runway. For maximum of $150 bwahahaha.
And I can finally live out Travel & Living by having my own Vietnamese-speaking tour guide (the bf la who else!?) to bring us around sightseeing, food tasting, grooming ($6 manicures & pedis anyone?), clubbing. Confirm well taken care of and not kana swindled (bah!) like some clueless tourist. Oh, I might try my hand at video-blogging while I'm there!

So anyway, the 3 of us would most definitely be going this year. Is anyone interested to tompang along for the ride?

I'm still salivating at the jpeg. Gosh.
Seriously Addictive Stuff
Monday, January 11, 2010 10:05 am