UPDATE 12 Jan:

I approached Sunday prac all hyped up, cheery sunny and ready to get things going... only to end up 4 hours later walking out of the studio with angry tears pouring down my face and a barrage of words I'm ashamed to have let loose in the ladies in front of E & A.

There were just way too many mistakes that should have been recognised, rectified, corrected and committed to memory 1 month ago and now with only 6 practices left, we look pretty much set to screw up on stage in our blindingly bright costumes.
Not helping how he is close to tears everytime D & Z barked at him,
Not helping how he didnt voice out his discomfort at my backleading or at the way I talk to him,
Not helping how he demands to choose who he partners,
And definitely not helping how he gives an attitude that shows his selfish and irresponsible character.

But that doesn't give me the excuse to be overwhelmed by panic and storm out of class. I should not have let my emotions get the better of me and I should have initiate a discussion with LK and get ourselves on the same page before even starting on the choreo that day. Different expectations, goals and working styles, confirm clash...

And clash we did... Big time. The whole saga ended up with LK asking to be taken out of the perf, Z saying he wont allow anyone who quits 2 weeks before a perf to join the student team and Z apologising profusely to me after hearing my sobbing account for putting in all that effort and that he knows its unfair, that I deserve a partner of my standard.

It didnt end there. Later that night, S msned, then called me to rant about how disappointed she is in Z, LK and me handling the situation, how she thought this team is about friendships and would it kill me if I were to fall on stage or to talk nicely to LK? At 2am, I was too tired to really explain. Friendships like ours are especially precious in the salsa scene and is the glue bonding the student team but that's the thing with performance practices - you just cannot take instructions too personally and after class, it is understood that no hard feelings are harboured. Z kana-ed from her too... and almost flared up and entertain thoughts of handing over the team to D for future performances!

Drama with a capital D. Sorry, should be Disasterous.

Just got a call from Z to come down for about 5 times a week to prac with M who got pulled in to partner C and mayb E, and that I can partner A back since LK is out of the picture. I don't mind the sacrifice so long as we all share the reward. I just hope that the morale of the team will pick up and that at the end of the day, we can move on like adults and stay friends.

And weirdly enough, I got this from the D&D on Saturday...


Guess I have alot more to learn in this department.

Extremely heavy-hearted... I should arrange a time to talk to LK, to properly apologize for what happened.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Ironically, this happened straight after thanksgiving cgm.

With our 3x a week practice, I had to sit out this one on Friday. The one prac I missed and they have to pass the decision without me. Turns out that my partner and I probably wont be dancing together for the bachata and fast salsa part. As I recalled, we both decided to go Sydney cos we want to dance together.

Situation goes like this: C was originally to partner LK but her overstrained knees are busted and the doc warned that if she injures a particular part further, she can forget about dancing... ever. To make matters worse, dance is her career. Apparently LK has been knocking her knees during prac and she's in a lot of pain. Solution: change partners to one who doesn't hurt her.

Problem is, LK is simply not strong enough to lift most of the girls for the stunts and this narrows the choices down to those below 50kg: C & me. Go figure who is to partner him.

Why am I so worked up? Oh it's nothing, except that I've been working my ass off for the past few months for this... this which could well be my first and last overseas performance and the last thing I want is someone screwing up our finesse cos my knees hurt like hell too everytime I dance with LK. Don't even get me started on the $ I had spent for this trip.

And right now when we're just days away from the performance (and you know how I'm like when I want things done), don't anyone tell me to baby a grown-man with frailing confidence cos we don't have the luxury of time to go "it's ok you just need more time". Screw it dude, JUST DO IT! Train ur muscles! Run! Crunches! Don't come and tell me sorry, just friggin' do it! We all started out at the same time so don't tell me you're still at intermediate stage when we're in the friggin' performance team. Great, so now I have to change objective from looking excellent to try-not-to-screw-up on stage. And we're performing to a crowd of over 2000. Swell.

There are a few things in life that I want to do with a bang and unfortunately this is one of them. So God help us. If he forgets again to move my face and push instead for that part, help me NOT to scream at him. 5 hours on Sunday. He better not waste my time.my money.my efforts.

Argh!!!