I'm sorry if I made you all worry. I'm fine! Just lazy to update =P

Thanks for all your sweet messages! *hugz*

Gtg back to work...

Received a message from Dad at 9.05pm that Flower was not moving & had shallow breathing.
Definitely bad news if he's referring to the same grey bundle who wont stop hopping until he got his favourite grass pellets. Ultra bad news, considering how I've never seen Flower at sleep before. Rest, yes but not sleep.

There I am, sick & nauseous with worry AND stuck on the bloody slow bus, while the D & S in me try to reason & comfort the C. Tears still flow, damn it. Frantic calls & clutching not 1 but 3 vet contacts later, I rushed home, still praying hard & hoping that it's just my overactive imagination.

So nothing prepared me for the sight of his carcass at 10.01pm just now. Absolutely nothing. Resting on one side, head bent back, chest bloated and his eyes were still OPEN, damn it. I just stood there in shock while my parents cleared Flower's remains... And that was the only time the tears stopped flowing. I turned away when Dad moved his body...

Is it the orchid plant he attacked a week back? Had there been an accumulation of poisons in his body? Is it the plastic bag it nibbled on in its impatience to get to the hay? Is it the food? Is it the water?

If I had just stop at any bus-stop & grabbed a cab, would it have made any difference?
I don't know. I don't know if I can forgive myself if I know the answer.

Hey buddy, have fun in Bunny Heaven. Say hi to Zac if you see him. That's the dog that'll lick you in your face.

I wish I could have cuddled you one more time...

Revelation

If you can't handle the inevitable emotional trauma of losing your beloved pet, don't get one. Like how I'm never getting another one.

So tired, why are so many things happening at one time?

Right, I just filed my income tax forms & am now waiting for a reply from a U.S. supplier to start his day @ the office so that I can end mine =)

Amidst the usual craziness of the day, the brand manager for the company called me in for a discussion. Remember my previous entry on HR? Well, I replied with a carefully gingerly crafted email to the CEO and he promptly scheduled me for an interview. Well, it didnt happen. Turns out, the brand manager happens to be recruiting new blood and has therefore consulted my boss, manager and CEO, amongst a few others.

If I choose to join his team, I'll be adding my technical and application knowledge of my current company for the whole group, therefore inclining the learning curve of the team in a world of pharmaceuticals, machinery and microbiology. Other than the short-term marketing projects (think exhibitions & seminars), we'll also be working at establishing the group's presence in the business sector as well as achieveing growth according to the directions each company has forecasted. And there will be courses on designing software to take. How cool is that!

"So, do you want to take up this position?"

I guess I don't need to tell you what my instantaneous response is right? Think this is what the D part of me call "taking charge of my future"

Minutes later, my biz manager popped by with his signature grin to tell me how happy he is that I have taken the opportunity to grow myself. He has been subtly pushing for a better position for me after noting how my eyes lit up (good to have hui4 shuo1 hua4 de yan3 jing1 heh!) when it comes to the marketing side of the job. From his pep talk, I can sense how crucial a role he plays in promoting me for this. More than just meeting the company's needs with the right talent, he really wants this to work for me and can finally settle his thoughts about my career path 5 years down the road. The more he talked, the more I wanna cry. Thank you. You really made a difference for me (thou I'm too paiseh to tell you straight & I know you'll be paiseh to hear this from me)

Thinking back, these questions I used to ask myself resurfaced:

What do I like to do?
What is my passion?
What drives this passion?
What do I want to achieve?
What is my purpose?

Glad to have answers... like finally. The longer the... erm... long-suffering, the sweeter the rewards.

And I guess this really is IT... can tell by how excitedly I am pounding the keyboard rite now =P Really really thank God for answering my prayers.


PS: On a more ecstatic note, I cant WAIT to start! And I'm returning my borrowed copy of HR Kit for Dummies tonite HAH! XD

So the exhibition in KL is finally over.

In terms of relations with the principals, our new suppliers were pretty 'wowed' (or shall I say, blown away) by the team’s professionalism. From the visitors, we had collected quite a comfortable number of prospects that will, hopefully, spell $$$$$ for the next 5 years down the road. In the wake of the horrendous appraisals, the timely hustle & bustle at the booth also came to gently reaffirm each individual’s passion for their job & their reasons for staying on.

And personally, the invaluable experience as the overall exhibition coordinator speaks for itself – an achievement nicely tucked under my belt. That, I have my managers to thank… for trusting me with directing the whole show even though I know next to nothing about exhibition matters, am not assertive enough (well, before the exhibition that is) and geographically at a disadvantage.

But God has shown me that as long as you have the willingness to walk, He will definitely provide a path. So I (had to) step out and, dare I say, I did pretty well.

Not only did He expand my time and sharpen my mind, He removed the fear that would have otherwise hindered my decision-making in the absence of my bosses’ leadership. So this is what being in charge feels like… & I’m glad to say I’m not just getting the hang of it, I’m actually enjoying it.

Keeping in mind the interview next this week for the position of HR, it's impossible not to over-contemplate (man, I’m totally overusing this word!) how the CEO himself was subtly cc-ed amidst all the glowing email reviews. Coming before the beaming faces of my managers and HOD, I realized one more thing: I don’t know how to handle praise. Like seriously. Lest they think I’m unappreciative, I smiled my thanks and promptly went about tackling the outstanding work.

And I hear from the grapevine that they might be finding another CME for my company… which means they’re gonna place me either in Marketing (the opportunity the exhibition opened up) or the new baby, HR (the opportunity the hosting of D&D event opened up)

So what's my point?

I think this might just be the transition point in my career. Of those times I cried myself to sleep, only to be greeted by dread the next morning, of being made to feel like they are forcing me to quit of my own accord, I’m just glad that’s all in the past. Bye bye depression, Hellooo sunshine! ^_^

A timely exchange over Skype with a colleague also gave me hope that things will further improve (financially *wink*) after I have proven myself to be capable of confidently handling managerial matters in the future. Ironically, it’s the same person who told me to leave before being bullied into doing the odd jobs around the office (read: Livejournal entry). Thank you for trying to protect me. I appreciate your genuine friendship =)

Whatever it may be, it’s gonna be another walk to remember, to learn from and to cherish.

Thank God =)

Random Post

1) Friend
Duh, no don't be silly, it's not that I don't care.
If I really don't, then I wont have bothered to even try. DUH! (hugz)

2) To the fren above: Everything's gonna b alright
A D E D, A D E D, A D E D, A D E D,
F#m7 B D E
A D E D, A D E D, A D E D, A D E D,
A D E D, A D E D, A D E D, A D E D.
(Hallelujah hallelujah! Woohoo! Clap clap clap! *jams vigorously*)
Sucha sunny song *insert gummy grin :D

Amazing how God can put such joy back into this
So, let the power of willingness cover the lack of talent (or shall I say, practice?)

3) 5 different styles of connecting to God
Comtemplative: —Synonyms 1. thoughtful, reflective, meditative.
Intellectual: - Adjective 1. appealing to or engaging the intellect: intellectual pursuits.
Serving: -Verb 1. To be of assistance to or promote the interests of; aid:
Charismatic: -Adjective 1. possessing an extraordinary ability to attract; "a charismatic leader"; "a magnetic personality"
Relational: -Adjective 1. a property that associates two quantities in a definite order, as equality or inequality (Just kidding)
Relational: -Adjective 1. the mode or kind of connection between one person and another, between an individual and God, etc.

Wonder what's Sunday's audio edit about... *contemplating*

4) Worried Concerned
Amidst the fog, will I still feel ur presence as strongly as in the hall this Easter?
Anyways, see you this weekend =)

5) HR position

How shall I approach him? When shall I approach him? What can I ask him?
Most importantly, do I think I can do it?

Overcontemplativeness... Ah well :