That's it.

I've lost ALL respect for him.

Sorry I noe I'm a LOOOONG way from being that perfect Christian BUT cant help feeling disappointed & hurt. Extremely skeptical abt him now. Think he noes it & prob boil it down to me giving an attitude but I dun really care. (& no I'm not gonna apologize to him over something I'm NOT apologetic abt) Hate it when ppl say things they dont mean & I find out abt it later. & WHO gave u the bloody rite to tell me off & DEMAND an explanation of what's bothering me!!! You are not gonna solve the problem, u noe it. & I ABSOLUTELY dont relish having you lecture like u noe everything when u youself are going against your words. Dont be a farking hypoocrite just cos u think ppl dun noe/remember. I worry for H man... let's hope u treat her better than u do me.

ARGH!!! Feeling really fugly now... Go cool down 1st...

*Oh yah... Today's GEK2501 paper is relatively easy... whoa... PRAISE THE LORD!!! He's the One man I can rely on rite now...*

Funny how sometimes, the most jovial, bubbly, seemingly carefree people around us are the most complicated & angst-filled ones... A cliche? A hasty generalization? Mayb all they need is hope...?

Things happening around me now... Shd I channel them into a learning experience? Or are they simply a reflection of what my life used to be? Feels strange... yet familiar @ the same time... How I feel a fren's pain, yet distance myself from it... How I can recognise that hope she/he has.... The pain of keeping it and reminding oneself to never stop believing in dreams... U can almost taste that note of desperation... A familiar, bittersweet feeling that can get all too real for comfort... Hope, u noe u MUST hold onto... Or suffer the unleashing of emotions so great, u dont noe what/how to feel anymore after that... Sounds familiar?

A poem by a fren... something that made my heart ache, everytime I remember the day he told me they're not together anymore...

Sometimes u make me happy,
Sometimes u make me sad,
Sometimes i feel,
Ure a gal i cld nvr have had,
But den still,
It was thru fate we met,
So nvr think,
Ure just someone i just grabbed.

From e day i promised to give my all,
I made a promise to God,
I prayed in my heart,
Tat shld things work out,
Forsake him i will not.

You are e cloud i ride,
Without u i ll fall down flat.

The things u do for me,
Nvr cease to amaze me.

But somethings u say to me,
Pierce right thru me.

So i remind myself tat u love me,
And tat is all i can ask for.

Lemme love u like no one cld,
Hold u like no one will,
Let us snuggle frm dawn till dusk,
Lose ourselves in tis world we call our own.

Nvr again shall we be lost,
Lost sheep are names we ll nvr be called,
Cos we are one,
and one are we.

Hands held tight,
Swung to our pace.
Sit on e bench,
With wind in our face .
Nvr wantin to leave tat place...

I pray for strength in you, brother. Take care & God Bless...

Been studying in Science Library the past few weeks ever since the disasterous CM3221 Test 1 *ARGH!!! Y must I bring up CM3221 again?!!?!*
Now trying to nurse a cold that mysteriously sneaked up on me on Tuesday nite & whack my entire system upside-down. I'm so saturated w Redoxon, VapoDrops & Panadol Cold now, I cant think straight. & I ALMOST fainted just now at MRT station... kns...

OF ALL THE TIMES IN A YEAR, WHY MUST I FALL SICK NOW?!?!?!

Tml another exam... 40%... & I have yet to officially start on CM3241 & GEK2501 revision... haiz... To make matters worse, Kakak (Big Sister in Malay) is facing some major boohoo in her relationship... Seeing her so xim tia I oso xim tia... Haiz...

One thing that strike me is how heartbreakingly similar her misery reflects my emotions when I was still w Eugene, that fugly, self-confessed-&-confirmed-by-many bastard. & how clearly I see the situation & can *convincingly, I hope* remind her to have faith, that she has to be strong for both of them, to tahan a little longer, to NOT let her mind wander blah blah blah... Yet, despite having all the support she has around her, for one in so much pain & angst, the one thing she needs is him. No one else.

Suddenly, I remember again what it feels like to love someone so deeply it hurts when that love doesn't seem to be reciprocrated anymore... Mayb it's this fear of history repeating that's making me find faults w potential guys waaay b4 they even have the chance to do anything... Mayb it's this fear of investing my entire heart & soul for that one person cos it feels sooo right then, only to have it smashed to bits later... I dont need another scar, thank you. Nor do I relish the idea of spending time getting over someone who's a waste of my time. Then again, mayb I'm just falling for the wrong guys. Or mayb, it's just me. Or mayb, I just haven found met the Right One...

Tadah, MCQ for Da SneezingAngeL... I wonder what her answer is...

Okok it may seem like I'm obsessed w this series of pics *waddahell, I AM... sheesh* But this pic reminds me of my ballerina times... lazy to connect the scanner otherwise can show my tutu days hahaha... God, I REALLY miss ballet!!! ARGH!!! *pokes @ flabby thighs*

Took this pic of my parents at Grandma's on my bdae this year... I never fail to marvel at the love they have for each other & how much of an inspiration they are to all around them who see them... I wonder if I'll find true love like them...

Post Exam Activities(not in order):

1. GYM + JOGGING
2. Swimming (that is, after I've successfully get rid of that nauseating flab ard my waist... #$@&@)
3. SENTOSA!!! *enough said*
4. Read Bible
5. Read ALL those Christian books piling up on my desk...
6. Shopping What am I thinking... boh lui liao still wan to shop... *I'll bitch abt the horrendous financial situation I'm in now another day, simply cos it's too long to lament abt it now *tml got CM3221 paper* AND I dun think the issue's gonna be resolved (unfortunately) in a matter of days
7. WORK... God I sooo need that $$$...
8. Clean up my sty *oink*
9. Organise my wardrobe (Realise I've enough clothes to share w an imaginary sister & the BOTH of us can have different outfits for one entire year... sheesh)
10. Do something abt that %#%$ complexion of mine
11. Redye my hair
12. Daydream abt him... no wait, I've been doing it now anyway... *rolls eyes*
13. Duty @ CL... Y CANT I HAVE IT AT YIH?!?!?! Dumb Weisoon... &%%$%$#&**@

I'm too saturated w EtO-, LDA, NaH & their frens to think anymore so I'll add on another time... *no they're NOT drugs... Gary & Guang, u guys'll know what I'm talking abt *major groanz*

Tata for now!!!

Yes yes yes... Lemme indulge in a little bimbotic moment here.., REALLY love her hair & the colour too... *pic courtesy of XiaXue*

OOOOooooOOOO... smells gOOOOooooOOOOd...

*Face of an AngeL*

*2 grinning idiots*

Bwahahaha... Just remembered something my dear fren shared w me the other nite.

Martin: Eh I tell u a lame joke...Aiyah nvm it's lame.

Dont it just irks u when ppl wan to tell u something, then they paiseh & "aiyah nvm lah it's ok"

Me: *giving the diaoz look* TELL ME...

Martin: Okok. Once there's this guy who went into a restaurant & it was after the Iraq War. So when he said "thanks" to the young waiter, the boy shouted "WHERE?!!?!?!!!"

Me:.... BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

And yet again... Okok I'm finding this funny but mayb u wont but even if so, who cares hahaha =P

Me: *something abt a fren driving me back home blah blah blah*

Martin: Go out with him better right... Got car to drive right... Me leh... MRT... KNS... *insert retarded MSN crying smily*

Me: ..... BWAHAHAHAH!!!

And right now he's punctuating ALL his sentences/phrases/knsccbkpkbcblc with "giggle"... after hearing abt how I find a certain fren's laughter cute... *slaps forehead*


Dude, u're reminding me of that RETARDED round brown-spotted pink piggy...

(Oh, while I'm at it, let me drop a SUPER-MEGA-GARGANTUAN Xmas hint muahahaha!!! I'm so greedy *repent repent*)

Haiz... Gonna miss u when u're gone.

It's called Heaven...

Death, the second of The Endless, you are
responsible for ending all lives and taking
them to your realm, from which no one ever
returns. You are bright, positive, happy,
optimistic and enjoy everything about life, but
that does not mean your silly or stupid. You
can lay the smack down when you have to!
Everyone loves you, and they don't know why.

Which Endless are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ooooo.... Check out what Nic-Kor got me for my bdae this year =) *omg it's ALL just THIS freaking year??? So much seemed to have happened... Or is time just crawling REEEEAL slowly...* Anyway just bored. So decided to put up a narcissistic, pouty pic of au naturel me (Read: cleverly-&-lightly-applied makeup) Man... how to get that kinda complexion again....

Went for Mei's water baptism (CONGRATULATIONS Xiao Mei!!! May u grow stronger spiritually everyday!!! heehee) this afternoon. Chose a planetshakers CD for her. Hope she likes it... Hadnt had time to find anything appropriate spiritually...

Went down to sch to grab my notes from CBLC & zipped over to Science *I saw Mr Chemistry! Haha... sheesh* to meet Pris. Been studying at YIH w her for q some days liao... We SOOO need to surround ourselves w all the chao-muggers =( WHERE IS ALL THAT MOTIVATION!!! JEAN!!! Haiz...

On a lighter note, Martin very sweetly & generously *blowing kisses to solitudinal's MSN window* treated me to dinner & COFFEE CLUB MUD PIE!!!!! Omg... my fave kinda endorphin inducer *NOT aphrodisiac pls... wah piang* He had some kinda beef goulash & I had seafood marinara in wide Italian meepok (Fettuccini lah...) Food's good, company's even better hahaha. THANK YOU MARTIN!!! *hugz*

Got Ernest some cardholder in a shape of a toy sheep hahah... It shd be holding the Border's book voucher on his station on Wednesday hahaha... hope he finds it useful =)

Yawnz... have to meet Pris for studies tml morning at Woodlands Library... Wan An everyone!!!

Colour Awards Dinner: *tired... me go sleep* yawnz*