~Ode to Ye Ye~

We used to be close when I was young
Me young, spunky, jumpy like a little monkey
You the energetic grandfather of then 7 grandchildren
Early morning orange kaya toast w that sweet milo for me
(Yucky haha) boiled oats w milk for u
U-strolling-me-skipping in the park
Me w my monkeying ard the house on my spindly legs
U outside w ur taichi on those strong legs
Fluid strokes, calm thoughts
You welding the calligraphy brush
Again fluid strokes, calm thoughts
You feeding the dog, walking her.
Taking care of her 4 puppies, watching her grow old & die, watching puppy grow old & die
Bonsai plants, your babies
Of which I always accidentally drowned when I played with the water hose.

The call that u're hospitalised
Fell back on a backless park bench
The bench in the park u had frequent so often by now
Y so careless, we thought
Paralysed frm the neck down
Immobility in all limbs, 20% motion in right hand
Finally lost that the very next day
Metal screws drilled into your skull to support your head's weight
They finally removed them when they realised there's no need for that...
Warm right hand, very-cold left hand
Bloated fingers from water retention, kidney failure
Unresponsive to my touch, my holding ur hand
But U finally opened your eyes & looked at me
Slurry eyes, gaping mouth, gasping hard
So totally dependent on the machines
They with the churning sounds
Feeding u, kepping u breathing, keeping u alive
Did u know I came once b4? But u're asleep then.
Breathing, struggling
Drowzy w drugs, numb w pain?
U drifted off to sleep... again...

9.20am Hospital called daddy
9.50am U're pronounced dead
__.__am They arrived
But u've already gone...
After a gradually decreasing hearbeat rate
Just like that u faded away
Y didnt u wait for them, wondered Aunt Christine
Prob cos u already knew ur last wish was fulfilled, I guessed.
R u finally @ ease now, I wondered...

Saw u again this morning but u dont know I'm there.
U look like u're asleep, like how they said dead people looked: like they're asleep
Prayed, listened, looked
All the while filled w remorse that I nvr quite got to know u more
Relieved only by the fact that we held hands, looked into each other's eyes
The fact that you know I was there to see u.
Too bad I didnt know it was for the last time.
Did u know then, I wondered...

We miss u. Your presence. Gatherings are never gonna be the same again.
I love u.

Ah Qi