When do u step in?

Do u step in & protect a fren frm all that shit... or do u look at everything frm one corner, keep ur comments to yourself, let things happen & decide an ending for themselves, no mattter how seemingly negative the whole thing sounds?

On one hand, that fren'll be unappreciative that u poke your nose in & possibly compromise his/her probable long-term happiness. On the other, u know that there's a very minute chance of things miraculously working out & if they dont but they've gone quite far, u know your fren's gonna be devastated...well, ok, extremely sad. But that's bad enuf, 'noe wad I'm sayin'?

So I chose the latter. Cos there's always HOPE.
================================================================

Everything above, including my views abt so many dating issues (games, rules, minor or major hints, actions, "no-action" actions, words spoken or unspoken, u name it I went-thru/heard-abt it) are pretty cliche... so cliche that u just wonder if God's making EVERYONE go thru the same shit.

I'm not a judgemental person & will still hold that slight smidget of respect for that person UNLESS I witness/hear for myself
wat serious shit they did. Then it's really time to wake up & smell the coffee aint it? Naivety dont work no more in the game of love (or anywhere else for that matter)... & when it's someone else's game, the outsider does get to see other perspectives that the players dont... unfortunately/fortunately?

Amazing how one can be blinded by Hope... but without it, life's meaningless. Needless to say, the same goes for Love.

So my frens, if u happen to chance upon this entry, do think twice before any action. Liking someone doesn't justifies being in a relationship w him or her.

Went down this morning to see Grandpa again b4 they cover him up
They've taken down the stands, the metal chair where they prop up his silk shirt, pants & photo, & replace it w a stack of plastic ones
Looked at him for a few times... then went again to take another look
& another... this time it's for the last time.
Others followed too, some crying, all in little groups, all talking to Grandpa.
Telling him to relay any msgs to them in their dreams if he's lacking anything.
Mum cried so hard, Dad shedding few tears, as usual.

All red-eyed, we got ready for the ceremony; white & black/blue, white socks, no shoes, coloured badges on the left sleeve. White for daughters, red + white for their husbands, blue + red for their children. White + brown for sons & daughters-in-law, blue for their children.

The music started, u noe the kind that they always play during progressions? The extremely loud one? Grandma cried so hard & loudly, we all heard her wailings above the sounds. It's so heart-wrenching... seeing an old lady grieve for her husband. (Someone finally drove her home to Charlton Park where she's supposed to wait for us there.) Mum & I cried when we hear it too. U cant help but dread wat's coming next.

Ceremony started at 12.15 sharp. 1st time see Dad cry as we all walked single-file around Grandpa. They told us to turn away as they're covering the coffin. Heard DaGuMa, ErGuMa, GanMa & Dad weeping. Feel so xin ku for them.
All 3 sons pushed the van after the coffin's loaded into it. I heard Dad cry again.
Boarded the bus to Charlton Park. Walked around Grandpa's house once, boarded the bus again for Mount Vernon.

Entered the crematorium. Hall One. Walked around the coffin again, noticing this red curtain, knowing wat's gonna happen behind it. Dreading it. & as the friends & other relatives offered their final prayings, I noticed all 3 daughters & Mum at the coffin, weeping away.

The immediate feeling of gloom was intense. Started crying again. As the coffin's wheeled into the room behind the curtains, we hurried into the "viewing room". When the coffin's in sight, everyone started calling out for Grandpa. Everyone started crying. & when the coffin was raised & pushed into the cremating chute, all my aunties & uncles all fell on their knees, crying their hearts out.
Cause it's only then, did it hit on u that u've lost this dear person forever. Much as I feel the sense of loss, at that point of time, I cant help worrying for Dad. My maternal grandma even came into the room to help comfort him, it's that bad. & when everyone came out again into Hall One, my dad was still crying his heart out. Looked at the place where the coffin was a few minutes ago & cried even harder.
Went back to Charlton Park for final round of prayers. Looked around & got reminded that Grandpa's really gone. Cried again, turning away from Grandma so she wont notice & weep again.

We're gonna collect Grandpa's ashes tml 2pm at Mount Vernon. Now, I'm waiting for 7pm to come so I may feel Grandpa's presence when he comes back.

Later.

Took a sneek at the post mortem of Grandpa b4 they kept it...

Deceased:

Wong Kok Liang, 86, 14th March 2004, 0951

Disease:

Lobar Pneumonia following Spinal Cord contusion

Fracture:

Dislocation of 6th cervical vertebrae

Others:

Ischaemic heart disease & liver cirrhosis

LOVE

Love is always patient and kind
It is never jealous
Love is never boastful nor conceited
It is never rude or selfish
It does not take offence
It is not resentful
Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, delights and the truth
It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, to endure whatever comes

~A Walk To Remember~

~Ode to Ye Ye~

We used to be close when I was young
Me young, spunky, jumpy like a little monkey
You the energetic grandfather of then 7 grandchildren
Early morning orange kaya toast w that sweet milo for me
(Yucky haha) boiled oats w milk for u
U-strolling-me-skipping in the park
Me w my monkeying ard the house on my spindly legs
U outside w ur taichi on those strong legs
Fluid strokes, calm thoughts
You welding the calligraphy brush
Again fluid strokes, calm thoughts
You feeding the dog, walking her.
Taking care of her 4 puppies, watching her grow old & die, watching puppy grow old & die
Bonsai plants, your babies
Of which I always accidentally drowned when I played with the water hose.

The call that u're hospitalised
Fell back on a backless park bench
The bench in the park u had frequent so often by now
Y so careless, we thought
Paralysed frm the neck down
Immobility in all limbs, 20% motion in right hand
Finally lost that the very next day
Metal screws drilled into your skull to support your head's weight
They finally removed them when they realised there's no need for that...
Warm right hand, very-cold left hand
Bloated fingers from water retention, kidney failure
Unresponsive to my touch, my holding ur hand
But U finally opened your eyes & looked at me
Slurry eyes, gaping mouth, gasping hard
So totally dependent on the machines
They with the churning sounds
Feeding u, kepping u breathing, keeping u alive
Did u know I came once b4? But u're asleep then.
Breathing, struggling
Drowzy w drugs, numb w pain?
U drifted off to sleep... again...

9.20am Hospital called daddy
9.50am U're pronounced dead
__.__am They arrived
But u've already gone...
After a gradually decreasing hearbeat rate
Just like that u faded away
Y didnt u wait for them, wondered Aunt Christine
Prob cos u already knew ur last wish was fulfilled, I guessed.
R u finally @ ease now, I wondered...

Saw u again this morning but u dont know I'm there.
U look like u're asleep, like how they said dead people looked: like they're asleep
Prayed, listened, looked
All the while filled w remorse that I nvr quite got to know u more
Relieved only by the fact that we held hands, looked into each other's eyes
The fact that you know I was there to see u.
Too bad I didnt know it was for the last time.
Did u know then, I wondered...

We miss u. Your presence. Gatherings are never gonna be the same again.
I love u.

Ah Qi

Ever wonder wat ur purpose in life is?

Like the essence of being who u r, doing wat u do (or have to do) but realising that @ the end of the day, despite the frequent flashes of hysterical laughter *the type that make u laugh til u cry... for no apparent reason* & bz work, groups of frens & homework that keep u occupied, u're still not as happy as u wanted to be? Needed to be perhaps?

This strive for fulfilment & happiness... Greed? Envy? What?...

Oh realise there could have been an 8th sin other than ur Greed, Envy, Sloth, Lust *my fave MUAHAHAH (kidding)*, Gluttony, Pride & Wrath===> The sin of omission. By telling lies. Haha.. wonder wat disasters have arise due to this. But yeah, just fiddling w little thots here & there.

*God, did I just make myself sound like some serial perv killer!?!*

Hey guys I'm just plain bored... & a little moody *how come these bouts of moodiness keep creeping back like some stubborn virus that wont go away?*

Hell, i"ll just blame it on PMS HAHAHAHA!!!!

You are the Goddess of Air. You are very
intuaitive. You inspire other Goddesses since
without you nothing would exist. Your make sure
you are always intuned to your spirtaulality.
Your most definatly one of the most Wisest and
highest consciousness of the Four Goddesses.
Other Air Goddesses Aradia, Arianrhod, Athena,
Nuit, Urania


Which of the Four Elemental Goddesses are you?(With Pics)
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OH WELL WAT THE HELL......

I'm so sian of all life. So bz. So tired.

Shit that's been bothering me:
- dying granddad (hope it's painless)
- sch work (projects + CAs)
- grades for this sem
- watever gerard said abt me
- guys (they're like so problematic xia)
- watever

Rarely does things go my way... 2004, please go quickly...

Your a water Dragon! Congrats! Like ice dragons,
you are extremly powerful, but show it more
often. You are a leader, and like to speak your
opinion. AND, you are charming, swift, and
great at dancing, ou enjoy getting stuck in the
rain, playing with friends, and swimming
anywhere! Wat-ER you wating for?


What elemental dragon are you?
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