Feeling damn sad. If I've just put more postcards on the bottom of the cage, or sealed the opening of the 2nd floor "floor" (= 1st storey's "roof") NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!!! I went out in the morning before meeting Jade, checked my hamsters & made sure the teeny one had a drink b4 I left the house.
So sad.. & I was thinking fo taking their individual photos on Sunday after their weekly bath... Now it's too late...

Woke this morning.... went to feed the teeny one water as usual... & it's not on the 2nd storey like it was supposed to be. Saw the small pile of postcards which it shifted... so looked down... only saw 2, cant find it... Until something brown, small, furry & STILL caught my eye. Almost vomitted... FUCKING HAMSTERS!!!!! Y DO U BOTH HAVE TO BE SO VIOLENT!?!?!?! He's your son & brother for God's sake!!!

It prob died in pain... grimacing & wincing & whining & as it made sounds, it attracted attention again... & was repeatedly attacked... It's so small that's why I segregate it frm the others...

I've forgotten the no of times I rinsed its wounds, red, swollen & bleeding from the attack(s) in the past. & how I ALWAYS washed it first (biased mayb but he's the puniest! & the cutest...)

FUCK... If I hadnt gone out last nite, none of this wd have happened. Celebrated my bdae w Ernest, movie, dinner & when I got home I was too tired to do anything. If only I'd known they're so deadly, I'd have separate them into DIFFERENT CAGES. & it prob died last nite... on my birthday... My cute little furry hamster, whom I'm too lz to give it a name.

Sick. I dont think I'll eat anything today... might as well. I'll just throw up. Ok, my sweet darling hamster, wherever u r right now, Hamtaro-Land or Heaven, take care ok?

I LOVE U.

FUCK FUCK FUCK why must it be like that...