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Monday, January 12, 2004 11:16 pm
Went out w Ernest today... oh man... How I wish things r simple between us. Like REALLY simple. Marcus told me he confirm like me lor & that we're like a couple... this coming frm someone who saw us together for the 1st time in the train. & he already predicted that it'll definitely lead to SOMETHING... Guess I'm pretty naive (selfish?) to think that it's nothing serious. Bottom line: putting things on hold between us. Nothing physical... for now. (or shd I put it "forever"?)

Mentioned this self-defense mechanism I have now towards guys & this possible inferior complex I have (like mayb, prob, I'm not good enuff for anyone I like). Huge huge barrier built ard me now. But yah if anyone manages to break it down, I'll noe he's The One. For now, happy chipping, guys! *imagining guys w hammers & chisels* Talk abt chek ark XP

Anyway last nite was on the phone w Violet. Told me stuff abt wat that b*tch S bitched abt JAM... Apparently she's asking questions & speculating to many ppl, even ppl who dun noe JAM AT ALL. (Dun remember her asking ME, the one supposedly closest to J in sch. Esp since she's interested between the business between Eugene & me) To make the entire episode more ridiculous, she thinks she & M r v close... makes me wanna laugh jus hearing it. Hate the way she's sucha hypocrite to J thou *bitch-slap* (yes this is for U Martin, for planting the idea in my head Hahaha!!!) Chummy with M's ex now, showing ultimate disrespect for her bf (in PUBLIC no less! I still cant believe it...)... *sighz* cant be bothered to think of anything anymore. She's just a bitch... freaking HUGE KAY-POH lor!!! HELLO?!?! EVER heard of PRIVACY???
(Gawd I REALLY sound like a bitch too now dont I? But, Hell this is my diary & if I cant bitch here, where else can I bitch?)
To think that I used to find her not bad last year. Okok hope she's really actually not THAT bad...
Jus reminds me of those Sec sch days when life's brimming w bitches, bastards & many more hypocrites all out to get that highly desirable "popularity pie" @ the expense of frenship & self-respect. So darn superficial...